COWT; The Witcher; Witcher Unsolved
Feb. 20th, 2020 10:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ephitomisFandom: The Witcher
Notes: Written for the prompt "Mitologia Aborigena" for COWT10.
Wordcount: 2022
Summary: This was supposed to be just a one time job, and instead now Geralt co-host a ghost hunting series with someone who doesn't even know ghosts are real
Ghosts weren't usually Geralt's thing, but when someone had come to him needing an escort to go into haunted places? Well, Coin's a coin.
He thought it would be a one-time gig, and he was okay with that. Some easy coin, a very uneventful job... what could have gone wrong?
Jaskier, the one that hired him, simply told him it was for an internet show, and Geralt had sighed. Usually these kinds of shows didn't even go to real haunted places but it's not like Geralt cared.
So when the first job was in an actually haunted place, Geralt was actually surprised.
Jaskier didn’t seem to know anything about ghosts or monsters, not the real ones. But he was a firm believer in their existence and his show wanted to prove it to the whole world. Of course, Geralt could have told him it was all real the moment they met, but there was something about Jaskier that made him want to pick on him a little.
And, Geralt reasoned, humans that learned of their world usually didn’t live much after entering it. So Geralt didn’t tell him for his own benefit the first time.
They went inside the house, Jaskier filmed the entire experience, focusing on Geralt a couple of times, and Geralt played the part of an annoyed crewmember who didn’t believe in shit like ghosts and was just there because Jaskier paid him to play a bodyguard to nothing.
It shouldn’t have been anything more than that, really, just a little bit of harmless fun.
Then Jaskier called him again, and then again, and then he told him the viewer loved the contraposition between Jaskier’s firm belief in the supernatural and Geralt steadfast refusal to consider the existence of any of the ghosts they investigated.
Apparently, Jaskier told him, Geralt was funny.
Which well, no one ever though he was funny. Angry? Yes. Scary? Most of the time. Boring? Usually. But funny?
Jaskier had insisted, however. Told him he would split the money he made with the videos and, once again, Geralt really needed the money. And he was still sure that this would all end after a couple of videos.
After five years he’s starting to think this might be… more permanent than he would have thought.
Jaskier has become more than annoying person that needed his help, and while Geralt hesitated to call him friend to Jaskier’s face, he probably was the only friend he had.
He had Yennefer, and of course Ciri, but well…
“Geralt, my dear, you know I love when you brood in the corner, but we still haven’t planned the entire season,” Jaskier reminds him, with an arched eyebrow.
Geralt sighed, but joined Jaskier at the table. Scrambled across the surface were depliant and researches on various locations that were rumored to be haunted. Of course, most of those weren’t but…
“I was thinking this one,” Jaskier says pointing at one of the locations. “Maybe this for the premiere,” che continues, and everyone of his suggestion, Geralt knows, will be actually haunted.
It’s one of Jaskier’s biggest mysteries, Geralt thinks, that even if he’s completely human and without any kind of sight, Jaskier seems to be attracted to haunted places and monsters.
It’s surprisingly helpful for Geralt, that usually manages to snatch another work on the side and exorcise the places after they recorded the episode.
The only problem was that not only Jaskier seemed to have some kind of supernatural ability on finding supernaturally active locations, he also seemed to attract any ghost and monster around him like moths to a flame.
Geralt doesn’t really understand how that’s possible, and he even asked Yen once to make sure that there wasn’t any kind of curse on Jaskier, but no. It was all him.
Keeping the secret with this premises has been another full time job for Geralt, enough that he can’t even justify to himself why he’s doing it.
Jaskier might be a stupid human, but in these years he had dimostrated that he could take care of his own. Also, he’s already too deep into the supernatural world to be able to walk away freely.
Geralt should just come clean, tell him that Geralt had always believed in the supernatural and just… accept if Jaskier wanted to close the show or just… not do it with him.
He should, because Jaskier deserved better. He might be annoying, but he’s been more generous with Geralt than anyone would have expected him to be.
And Geralt hasn’t been entirely fair with him, if he’s honest.
So he should come clean right now. They’re entering into the fifth season of the show and starting another one with Jaskier still in the shadow doesn’t feel right.
Still, Geralt doesn’t tell him anything and just points at another one he knows for sure is haunted. “Maybe that one.”
Jaskier looks at his suggestion and beams, picking up the three they’ve indicated. “I think these are perfect to start. We really are a great team, ah?” the other asks, with a smile on his face.
Geralt simply huffs.
He will tell him. Soon.
Everything starts going to shit the third episode.
They’re visiting a house built upon a graveyard that was once used by vikings to lay their heroes to rest.
Geralt expects the usual ghosts. Clinging to life because they just wanted another chance, instead he enters the house and almost bolts.
Jaskier, as a human, can’t smell the evil that permeates the house, and simply walks without a care. Geralt wants to stop him and drag him out of there, but he doesn’t have any good reasons to offer. He can’t do anything but sticking close to him, and make sure that whatever evil entity is in the house doesn’t get too close to Jaskier.
Tomorrow Geralt can come back and eliminate it.
“This is incredible, Geralt,” Jaskier says, smiling and looking around. “Can you believe it? It feels haunted doesn’t it?”
Geralt want to tell him it’s because it is, but he has a character of his own creation to slip into. The Geralt of the videos doesn’t believe in ghosts or spirits or vampires or anything in between. So he has to shrug and look at the camera. “It feels haunted by a draft. It’s just fucking cold.”
Jaskier laughs, looking in the camera at the same time. “Can you believe this guy? But don’t worry, I’ll show him one day. We’ll see something he won’t be able to refute!”.
Jaskier is always in high spirit when they enter a new location, and he starts walking all over the house. Geralt doesn’t even hesitate to follow him, and make sure he’s always near him.
Whatever it’s in this house, it’s possible he might be scared of Geralt and try to avoid him. And, if he sticks close to Jaskier, he might ignore him as well.
They pass some times inside the house, with Jaskier telling the viewers about the complete history of the place, and the most common sighting of ghosts inside the house. They then walk room to room, trying to summon one of the ghosts and make him talk to them.
Of course Geralt knows the correct ritual to talk to someone who's dead, but he's not going to show it to Jaskier, not even as a joke. He's not sure that the other wouldn't be like to summon an entire horse of supernatural creature without knowing why.
It's the usual run of the show, and they're almost done with it when Geralt notices something. He turns quickly, and he sees what looks like a red hand clutching at the door. He blinks and it's gone as fast as it came.
Red hand. That's not good.
"I was thinking," Jaskier says, ignoring Geralt's panic. "Maybe we could sleep here. It would make it more interesting for the viewers, right?"
"No," he growls, unable to contain the panic in his voice. If they're really against what Geralt thinks, staying put and sleeping is the worst thing they can do.
“What? Why not?” Jaskier immediately replies and… yes he’s pouting.
Normally Geralt would just give up then, he knows intimately the power of Jaskier’s pout, but if he gives up now…
“We have to go,” he simply says, “we… we don’t have permission to stay here.”
“Oh, well,” Jaskier shrugs, unbothered. “I’m sure we could get it. You know I’m usually convincing.” He turns towards one of the cameras and smiles, the one smile he always gets when he’s performing for their viewers. “You guys want to see us sleep here, right? Geralt is just being a grumpy pants!”
Fuck. He knows what will happen now, can already see it spelled in big bold letters. Jaskier will get his way, because he always gets his way, and Geralt will be left dealing with the consequences.
He guesses that the sooner he starts, the better it is.
“Fine,” he gumbles, “but you go and ask before we decide anything.”
Jaskier blinks, surprised, but he seems content enough. “You’re going to stay here?”
Geralt can’t very well say that he’s staying behind to exorcise a ghost now, can he? “Yeah, I’m going to stay here and keep my camera on. Maybe the imaginary ghost will arrive if I’m alone.”
“I know you’re only saying that to tease me,” Jaskier says, with a shrug, “but it’s actually a good idea, so I’m just letting you do your thing. I’ll be back soon!”
“Hm,” Geralt simply grunts. Watching Jaskier walk away. The moment he’s out of sight, Geralt immediately shuts off his camera and then turns towards the place where he had seen the hand. He can’t see the red figure now, but he knows it’s there, laying in wait.
“Come on, you fucker,” he says, taking out the dagger he keeps on himself at all times. It’s pure silver, especially effective against anything that isn’t alive. “Or maybe you’re scared to take on someone who’s not sleeping.”
The moment he says that he hears a guttural sound from behind him and he avoids a hit at the last second.
He turns and sees the Kuru Alpa in all its terrible splendor. It’s entire form is bleeding red, with a big mouth and void eyes. He wonders who was this poor fucker, and if he had more time he would try to soothe him.
But Jaskier could come back at any minute and Geralt really doesn’t want to have to fight while the other freaks out. Or to put Jaskier in any more danger, sure, that works too.
The Kuru Alpa snarls and then jumps towards Geralt with a speed one wouldn’t associate with a fucking dead corpse but it’s always like this with the fuckers. Geralt jumps back, but not soon enough, and he feels a sharp pain on his forearm.
He strikes back, and the creature shrieks, getting hit in the chest. “I’m fast too, fucker,” Gerlat murmurs, while he sees the spirit start to dissolve because of the silver.
It takes a moment, but after a second the spirit is gone, and Geralt feels the air around him clear up. And just in time for Jaskier to come back.
“Geralt? What are you-- is that blood? Did you cut yourself?” Jaskier asks, running towards him. Geralt doesn’t really know what to say, so he simply shrugs.
“Really? With your own dagger? What… I mean, I know you’re supposed to be a bodyguard, but I’m starting to think you’re a real bad one,” Jaskier pouts, while he looks around. “We can’t stay here while you’re bleeding, Geralt. I got the permission, but I think it’s simply not meant to be.”
Geralt would like to defend himself, but he can’t do that without talking about the Kuru Alpa. So he simply Hms and let’s Jaskier fret a little.
He hates his life.
