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Entry tags:
COWT; Promare; After
Title: After
Fandom: Promare
Notes: Written for the prompt "You fuse my broken bones back together, and then lift the weight of the world from my shoulders again for COWT10.
Wordcount: 1320
Summary: The Promare leave, but Lio has to get on with his life. It's easier said than done.
The thing is this. Lio doesn't miss the voice in his head, the all consuming need to burn. Who would miss it, really? He's happy about what they've done, the life they've saved and the the suffering they've put an end to.
But the thing is that Lio doesn't know any other way of living. He has never been Lio Fotia, a normal human, he's always been Lio Fotia, burnish and then Lio Fotia Mad Burnish leader. The flames have been a part of him ever since he was born, and it's... lonely without them here.
Normal humans will never be able to understand how the silence can weigh you down.
Lio is also acutely aware of the fact that no one has forgiven them, and he's also even more conscious of the fact that he doesn't think they need to be forgiven. Burnish didn't kill people, every death that has ever occurred was due to Kray's incompetence or blatant malevolence.
Still, Lio supposes, it's impossible to eliminate almost thirty years of racial discrimination and fear in just one night. It doesn't matter how much Galo screams at it.
And Galo screams a lot. Even days after the fact they're still helping with the cleaning up, and generally giving a hand where they can, but sometimes people don't want Lio's help. Ever since his arrest, his face is too recognizable. Everyone knows his as the leader of the Mad Burnish, and they fear him for it.
Galo screams at everyone a lot. He says that he understands, but Lio has been in prison and he has done his part to help and there's really no need to be like this, but it doesn't change anyone's mind. Usually Lio tries to calm him down, but that just means that Galo screams at him instead, because he's a fucking idiot.
The Burnish saved from the machine are being treated at a hospital. Most of them will live, but they've lost limbs and most of all their normal lives. Lio goes to visit them everyday, and they welcome him like he's still their leader. They ask him to be there while they talk to the doctors, they seem on edge unless he's there, like they still fear for their life. Lio doesn't understand why.
Burnish don't exist anymore and the Promares have all gone back to their world. Lio isn't stronger than any of them, in fact he might be even weaker than most. Still, he squares his shoulder and does his best to shield them from everything. He talks to doctors, holds people's hand and gives orders when needed.
It's a strange life, and not the one Lio had ever envisioned for himself, but it's better than being a fugitive, he guesses.
Still, if at night he lies awake following a whisper that doesn't exist anymore, who's going to know?
Galo, as it seems. The screaming, blabbering idiot seems to have become adept at reading Lio's mood. Which is at the same time an annoyance and a hydrance.
Sure, they've fought well together during the final battle against Kray, and Lio can admit to having warmed up to the idiot, but that doesn't mean he wants to be known. Doesn't think it's even possible. Galo doesn't understand what Lio has gone through, by his own admission. Yet, he still tries.
"You're tired," Galo tells him, one day, staring at him with even more intensity than before.
It's a surprising statement, since Lio didn't think the other was able to focus on anything other than a fire for more than two minutes. "I don't know what you mean," Lio says, dismissing him in a single motion.
"I can see it," Galo insists, not caring about Lio putting a clear stop to the conversation. "Your soul isn't burning as much as it usually does. Do you need any motivation? We could re-enact the dance of the old firefighters..."
"I'm fine, Galo," Lio huffs, hoping against all common sense that maybe Galo would let it drop.
"Why are you lying to me? Are you feeling like burning again?" Galo wonders, before smiling and pointing at himself. "Don't worry, you have the best fireman on your side."
Lio has been good, he feels, the past few weeks. He has tried to keep calm in order to help as many people as possible, but the moment Galo speaks, he feels the burning sensation come back to him, almost as if he could conjure a flame at any moment. The fact that he can't, that he never will again, only makes the fire inside him burn harder. (edited)
"Why can't you just think for once in your life?" he screams, feeling the anger gnaw at his bones. "I will never burn again. No one will eve burn again. There are no Burnish left. So just stop."
Galo blinks, once, and then he's screaming as well, of course, because that's just what Galo does. "Of course there are still Burnish! Just because you're not all on fire anymore doesn't mean you're not still you!"
"No! We're not!" Lio immediately replies, "just get it inside your head. Not everyone is as stupid as you're! We're just normal humans! We're..." embarrassingly he chokes on his next words. It's like his entire point gets derailed the moment he feels the tears prickling at his eyes. He doesn't want to cry, he doesn't even want to think about crying.
He wipes his face quickly, screaming even louder to cover the hole that it's opening inside his chest: "Everything we were before is gone, Galo, We all need to accept it. Accept it! Accept it!"
"What the hell do you mean," Galo asks, advancing on Lio so that they're face to face, "you're still Lio, who the else would you be?"
"And who the fuck is Lio, then?" he can't help but ask, angry and lost. Who is Lio without the fire burning inside him? Without the mission. Does he even know himself?
Galo furrows his brow and then screams, a sound born of frustration. "I don't understand! You're asking questions that don't make any sense. Stop being this stupid. You're Lio and that's it. You're the little shit who protects everyone fiercely and never surrenders. And if you can't burn things now? That's even better. But if you do that's all right too, because I'll just have to put it out again. So just stop worrying about things!"
It's such a Galo thing to say, Lio realizes, that he can't help but laugh. There is still a pit in his stomach, something that feels emptier than it should be, but... but Galo is right. Worrying won't get him anywhere, won't it? The idiot is always right.
The other looks even more confused now, but Lio can't stop laughing. "You're strange," Galo murmurs before advancing on him and hugging him. It's always strange when Galo hugs him, his entire body is so much bigger than Lio's. He's like a furnace, and in the days after the Promare, Lio finds great comfort in his heat. "You're coming with me tonight," Galo announces. "The other's at the hospital are all right, and they will survive without you for a night. We can ask those two that follow you around for help. I'll make you sleep even if I have to knock you on the head really hard."
Lio wants to fight him for a second. He thinks about all the ex Burnish that are waiting for him, all the suffering he has seen. But then... then he thinks of the sleepless nights, and maybe... maybe he can take a night off.
"Okay," he says, in the end, feeling his entire body melt against Galo's. "I... I can spare a night."
His entire life before this might have been washed away, but there are good things in this life as well and that has to be enough.
Fandom: Promare
Notes: Written for the prompt "You fuse my broken bones back together, and then lift the weight of the world from my shoulders again for COWT10.
Wordcount: 1320
Summary: The Promare leave, but Lio has to get on with his life. It's easier said than done.
The thing is this. Lio doesn't miss the voice in his head, the all consuming need to burn. Who would miss it, really? He's happy about what they've done, the life they've saved and the the suffering they've put an end to.
But the thing is that Lio doesn't know any other way of living. He has never been Lio Fotia, a normal human, he's always been Lio Fotia, burnish and then Lio Fotia Mad Burnish leader. The flames have been a part of him ever since he was born, and it's... lonely without them here.
Normal humans will never be able to understand how the silence can weigh you down.
Lio is also acutely aware of the fact that no one has forgiven them, and he's also even more conscious of the fact that he doesn't think they need to be forgiven. Burnish didn't kill people, every death that has ever occurred was due to Kray's incompetence or blatant malevolence.
Still, Lio supposes, it's impossible to eliminate almost thirty years of racial discrimination and fear in just one night. It doesn't matter how much Galo screams at it.
And Galo screams a lot. Even days after the fact they're still helping with the cleaning up, and generally giving a hand where they can, but sometimes people don't want Lio's help. Ever since his arrest, his face is too recognizable. Everyone knows his as the leader of the Mad Burnish, and they fear him for it.
Galo screams at everyone a lot. He says that he understands, but Lio has been in prison and he has done his part to help and there's really no need to be like this, but it doesn't change anyone's mind. Usually Lio tries to calm him down, but that just means that Galo screams at him instead, because he's a fucking idiot.
The Burnish saved from the machine are being treated at a hospital. Most of them will live, but they've lost limbs and most of all their normal lives. Lio goes to visit them everyday, and they welcome him like he's still their leader. They ask him to be there while they talk to the doctors, they seem on edge unless he's there, like they still fear for their life. Lio doesn't understand why.
Burnish don't exist anymore and the Promares have all gone back to their world. Lio isn't stronger than any of them, in fact he might be even weaker than most. Still, he squares his shoulder and does his best to shield them from everything. He talks to doctors, holds people's hand and gives orders when needed.
It's a strange life, and not the one Lio had ever envisioned for himself, but it's better than being a fugitive, he guesses.
Still, if at night he lies awake following a whisper that doesn't exist anymore, who's going to know?
Galo, as it seems. The screaming, blabbering idiot seems to have become adept at reading Lio's mood. Which is at the same time an annoyance and a hydrance.
Sure, they've fought well together during the final battle against Kray, and Lio can admit to having warmed up to the idiot, but that doesn't mean he wants to be known. Doesn't think it's even possible. Galo doesn't understand what Lio has gone through, by his own admission. Yet, he still tries.
"You're tired," Galo tells him, one day, staring at him with even more intensity than before.
It's a surprising statement, since Lio didn't think the other was able to focus on anything other than a fire for more than two minutes. "I don't know what you mean," Lio says, dismissing him in a single motion.
"I can see it," Galo insists, not caring about Lio putting a clear stop to the conversation. "Your soul isn't burning as much as it usually does. Do you need any motivation? We could re-enact the dance of the old firefighters..."
"I'm fine, Galo," Lio huffs, hoping against all common sense that maybe Galo would let it drop.
"Why are you lying to me? Are you feeling like burning again?" Galo wonders, before smiling and pointing at himself. "Don't worry, you have the best fireman on your side."
Lio has been good, he feels, the past few weeks. He has tried to keep calm in order to help as many people as possible, but the moment Galo speaks, he feels the burning sensation come back to him, almost as if he could conjure a flame at any moment. The fact that he can't, that he never will again, only makes the fire inside him burn harder. (edited)
"Why can't you just think for once in your life?" he screams, feeling the anger gnaw at his bones. "I will never burn again. No one will eve burn again. There are no Burnish left. So just stop."
Galo blinks, once, and then he's screaming as well, of course, because that's just what Galo does. "Of course there are still Burnish! Just because you're not all on fire anymore doesn't mean you're not still you!"
"No! We're not!" Lio immediately replies, "just get it inside your head. Not everyone is as stupid as you're! We're just normal humans! We're..." embarrassingly he chokes on his next words. It's like his entire point gets derailed the moment he feels the tears prickling at his eyes. He doesn't want to cry, he doesn't even want to think about crying.
He wipes his face quickly, screaming even louder to cover the hole that it's opening inside his chest: "Everything we were before is gone, Galo, We all need to accept it. Accept it! Accept it!"
"What the hell do you mean," Galo asks, advancing on Lio so that they're face to face, "you're still Lio, who the else would you be?"
"And who the fuck is Lio, then?" he can't help but ask, angry and lost. Who is Lio without the fire burning inside him? Without the mission. Does he even know himself?
Galo furrows his brow and then screams, a sound born of frustration. "I don't understand! You're asking questions that don't make any sense. Stop being this stupid. You're Lio and that's it. You're the little shit who protects everyone fiercely and never surrenders. And if you can't burn things now? That's even better. But if you do that's all right too, because I'll just have to put it out again. So just stop worrying about things!"
It's such a Galo thing to say, Lio realizes, that he can't help but laugh. There is still a pit in his stomach, something that feels emptier than it should be, but... but Galo is right. Worrying won't get him anywhere, won't it? The idiot is always right.
The other looks even more confused now, but Lio can't stop laughing. "You're strange," Galo murmurs before advancing on him and hugging him. It's always strange when Galo hugs him, his entire body is so much bigger than Lio's. He's like a furnace, and in the days after the Promare, Lio finds great comfort in his heat. "You're coming with me tonight," Galo announces. "The other's at the hospital are all right, and they will survive without you for a night. We can ask those two that follow you around for help. I'll make you sleep even if I have to knock you on the head really hard."
Lio wants to fight him for a second. He thinks about all the ex Burnish that are waiting for him, all the suffering he has seen. But then... then he thinks of the sleepless nights, and maybe... maybe he can take a night off.
"Okay," he says, in the end, feeling his entire body melt against Galo's. "I... I can spare a night."
His entire life before this might have been washed away, but there are good things in this life as well and that has to be enough.